Paint me Black
by tigers.on.moon
Summary: That night I realized two things. First was that Sasuke had always been the beautiful brooding boy who loves his mother dearly, who only desires for his father's respect, who will always admire his older brother.Second, I have to die to save this Sasuke.


**Paint me Black**

_Note: The story is based on Sakura's point of view._

A yawn accidentally escaped my lips as I finish the last of my hospital paper work. Unfortunately, this small mistake was not excused by the sharp eyes of my mentor. "Sakura." Tsunade-sama started. _Here we go again_, I thought as I smile sheepishly. She heaved a sigh and said, "You should head home." And again, like all of our debates in accordance of this matter I firmly opposed. "Hokage-sama, I am alright; besides these patients are my responsibilities." I said while eyeing the medical records in my hands. "I know…I know…" she said dismissively as if she heard it a thousand times before (which she really did). I almost smile victoriously but was stopped short when I heard her say, "But you have _more_ important responsibilities, Sakura." Then it was my turn to sigh as I nod in defeat and say my goodbye to my sensei. I will never win an argument against her. Before I leave the room, she smiled lovingly at me like a mother to her child. I returned the smile but the sadness-almost-regret feeling that her eyes shows didn't go unnoticed by me. I leaved the hospital with guilt planted on my chest. I wanted to shed a tear or two but can't; for what happened in the past was my choice, my decision. I am proud of myself to make that decision though a lot of people think otherwise. It was a choice of life, of salvation and as far as I am concerned it was a noble decision.

I catch a glimpse of raven hair as I pass down through the woods. It made my heart feel lighter to see someone who does not judge me. "Hi Ugly." Well, scratch that- someone who does no judge me except for my physical attributes. "Hi Sai." I said as annoyance built up my body. He smiled that overly-faked smile that made me clench my fist in anger. "What are you doing?" I asked for the sake of calming myself. He showed me his sketchpad and I had to smile; my anger slowly dispersing.

Ironic as it seems, Sai is a man who do not understand human emotions yet his artworks use so many colours. Is he even aware that these hues represent human emotions? "You are more humane than you think you are." I said as I stand up and wave goodbye. "What is wrong with you, Ugly?" I heard him say but that didn't tick a nerve on me. Thank goodness.

I pass by the training grounds of Team Seven and I feel happiness seep into my veins for the thrill of seeing them again. I took a break from training ever since _that_ happened a year ago; mainly due to health reasons. They have been so supportive for the past year of my endeavors and for that I am grateful.

I was first greeted with **orange and yellow**- Naruto.

"Sakura-chaan!"he shouted as I smiled brightly. Orange is the energy Naruto seems to not run out of whilst Yellow is for happiness; for his contagious smile. Naruto is life. He will always possess the strongest will amongst a team who had such a wretched past. I hugged him and prayed he will forever be of that color—full of energy, full of life.

A look from his crinkled eye acknowledges my presence, though his whole body stayed focus on that orange book that seems to never end. Kakashi-sensei will be **blue**. For blue is the color of wisdom, the color of truth. To me, he seems to know a truth of life that he will never unfold to us, not today, not ever. This will always be his impeccable way of teaching— you must earn what you learn. He possesses the tranquillity and calmness of someone far away from his age. I nod and smiled and wished him happiness which this team seems deprived of.

"Hn." Ah, that'right. The last member, the completion of Team Kakashi—Uchiha Sasuke.

As much as I hate to admit it, I've always associated this man with **black**. Yes, black, the color evil, the color of the dark. And it gives me chills to think that this color represents his life all too well. From the tragic massacre, to his lost way with the Snake-sannin, to the death of his brother, to his emotional-wretched state with Madara, to his not so willing homecoming to Konoha. Every damn scene in his life consists of blotches of black. It makes you think how someone can live through something so tragic and still stay so strong and proud. Well, Sasuke isn't.

Proud maybe…but never strong.

Many times he attempted to end this tragedy that he put himself into. It was all too simple actually, to end this nightmare, I mean—-Blood on the wrist, poison on your veins, water on your lungs, falling in thin air, electricity on your vitals—-and Sasuke did just that. All of it. A lot of times.

Yet we always manage to save him every single time… to his dismay. Naruto was the persistent one to save him. As I told you, he is too full of life. Kakashi drowned to depression for losing another family again and almost give up. I almost did too but before doing so I have to give this bastard a piece of my mind.

So on his next attempt; I was the one to aid him. I grab the opportunity to speak out my mind and I tell you, it was far from pretty. I showered him with obscenities, profanities; cursing him, letting my frustrations go wild. He caged me into his strong arms as my sobs drowned on his chest, my tears soaking his shirt wet. I heard the loud beating of his heart. I was sure it was his because mine stopped beating moments ago.

His dark orbs bore on me, begging, pleading. I have never seen him with so much emotion it is almost pathetic. Oh Sasuke, please. Don't be like this. I hugged him back whispering, "Everything is fine, I am here… I am here." His hold tightens as more tears run down my face. His eyes that I always adore met my emerald ones and he mouthed words I cannot comprehend. I was lost in his lips. That night, I died.

As we lay naked in the hospital bed, I stare at the ceiling in the attempt of ignoring the pain in my southern region and the pain in my heart. I figured the latter was harder to ignore. I face the figure on my right whose arm is drape on my abdomen, caging my body with his. I feel his breath on my cheek, his scent overwhelming my being. He opens his eyes as if he never fell into slumber. Sasuke's always been a light sleeper. When our eyes met, his hold tightens on my body and his face buried deep on my hair. "Sasuke.." I started, trying to find his eyes but he won't let me. I froze when I felt warm tears touch my skin. Oh God, Sasuke. Please, please. Not this.

I too start to shed tears and I took hold of the hand draped in my abdomen. I squeezed his hand lightly and I feel him tensed due to the contact. My breath was caught in my throat as his words processed into my mind. "Thank you." is what he uttered.

That night I realized two things. First was that Sasuke had always been the beautiful brooding boy who loves his mother dearly, who only desires for his father's respect, who will always admire his older brother. And second, I have to die to save this Sasuke.

And so that night marked the death of 12 year old Haruno Sakura inside of me- her dreams, her _innocence_. This is my choice. My death, my innocence for Uchiha Sasuke's salvation.

* * *

"Hey Sakura. Eat ramen with us." was Naruto's invitation. "Sorry, I need to get home." I said apologetically. He paused and smiled understandingly as if he remembered something important and felt foolish to even invite me over dinner. Here it go again; the feeling of guilt. "I'll walk you home." Sasuke said suddenly that it stunned me. He started walking and I quickly said goodbye to the rest of Team Seven to catch up to him.

"Bye Sakura-chan! Take care of her you teme!"I heard Naruto shouted. "Dobe." Sasuke muttered under his breath. I smiled, somethings will never change. I looked behind and had a glimpse of Naruto's defeated and miserable face whilst Kakashi-sensei pats his head in a parental gesture. It only lasted for a few moments until Naruto went back to his original energetic self. I refuse to shed a tear though my heart is painfully breaking. I looked away from them. I have hurt Naruto. A sin I have to live with for the rest of my days. And this guilt in my heart will be my punishment for hurting such a loving person. But don't be misled; I am not regretting what already transpired.

* * *

I opened the door to my apartment and my bunshin automatically disappeared. I let Sasuke in and no words were said as Sasuke go straight to the only bedroom of my apartment. I proceed to the kitchen and get myself a glass of water. This has become a mundane occurrence, a routine. I heard a rustle of clothes from the bedroom and I silently peek in through the semi-closed door. I have to smile when I saw Sasuke strip off that stoic mask he always put up. That emotionless facade and cold demeanour he is deemed of. It is during these rare moments that I see the true Sasuke and my heart soars of happiness to be able to see him like this.

His eyes soften; his lips graced with a genuine smile and in his arms lay a blessing—his son, _our _son. The child was every spec alike like Sasuke; from his coal-black hair, to his pale skin, his aristocratic nose. For some he may also seem like Sasuke, a representation of **black **but I beg to differ.

Sasuke bend down and lays a soft kiss on the child's forehead. Then, the child opens his eyes. It was green…emerald. The only trait he got from me. This child will be the color of **green**, the color of rebirth, the color of _hope_. He is Sasuke's salvation—his source of happiness, his reason to be alive. And I am glad to give him that.

I am glad to save him.

Fin.


End file.
